My Best Self

My Best Self

If my best self could take my hand,
Guide me safely through troubled lands,
The only thing I’d need is me,
Rough seas would part, so I could see,
That life won’t always be like this,
I’d give me a reassuring kiss,
A tender touch upon my shoulder,
To give me strength & make me bolder,
A gentle thought, a caring deed,
Calming words that I would heed,
I’d promise me to treat me kinder,
Sometimes we need a small reminder,
To love ourselves, to know our worth,
And celebrate our earthly birth,
For while we live with what we cope,
We must never, ever give up hope,
Our time here’s gifted for special reasons,
To cross the paths of rhymes & seasons,
So give yourself a warm embrace,
Stand proud amongst the human race.

22nd August 2019

September 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day 2019.

Thankfully, I have never been in a situation where I’ve thought of taking my own life.

However, like many people, I have had times when I’ve been through some very dark episodes..which are not only scary, but very unpleasant places to be, indeed.
They say, if life throws you lemons, make lemonade..it’s not that easy.
In the past, I’ve been the one who wanted to sit in a corner, tightly curled, holding my head, hugging my knees, and hoping the ground would swallow me up; whilst “lemons” were thrown hard & often at my head, several times, over a period of years.
I couldn’t even see the tap, let alone have the strength to turn it on, in order to make that lemonade from those ceaseless “lemons.”

But I have no idea how desperate someone feels who has reached a completely different level of hurt & angst.

I do know, through those troubled times, if I was at my best, I’d know that I’d get through the darkness, eventually. I’d know I had wonderful, loving family & friends who were there for me. I’d know I had done my best. I’d know not everything is my fault. I’d know not all bad things are preventable. No one promised an easy ride. My best self knew. My vulnerable self was unsure of everything.

I wrote this poem a few weeks back, not really intending to share it. I was actually feeling extremely good, if a bit reflective. It was a windy, but pleasant day, on my usual walk in the countryside.
Today, it seems appropriate to share it.
We can’t always expect to be our best selves, but when vulnerable, hopefully we can try to recognise the signs, & be kinder to ourselves.

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30 thoughts on “My Best Self”

  1. ivor20 says:

    Glorious thoughts and wonderful words Debbie…….. Unfortunately, I had a grandniece who took her own life recently, she was only 20 years old…..
    I’ve been listening to this song and lyrics over the last few days…… and I love how the words depict the essence of life…..

    1. Debbie Jones says:

      Oh I’m so sorry to hear about your grandniece, Ivor..how dreadfully tragic, & so young too. The devastation her family must feel is immeasurable.
      It’s a lovely song, thank you for sharing..gazing at the night sky does make you feel that way.
      Many thanks for your kind words too, Ivor. xx

      1. ivor20 says:

        There is no words to describe the tragic loss… This is the closest I could get words…
        In a sea of lights

        She, an unpicked bloom, wilted

        Young and fresh, now gone

      2. ivor20 says:

        There is no words to describe the tragic loss… This is the closest I could get for words…
        In a sea of lights
        She, an unpicked bloom, wilted
        Young and fresh, now gone

          1. ivor20 says:

            Thank you Debbie…………

  2. SueW says:

    Such a beautiful poem Debbie.

    I imagine many of us have had our moments of darkness, but thankfully most of us come out the other side relatively unscathed.

    At just 23 my friend’s son lost his job and was unable to find another, some months later he took his own life, he is buried next to my husband.

    On her birthday one of my daughters attempted the same, but fortunately, I found her and with ambulance control supporting me I performed CPR until the paramedics arrived. I hope I never have to do that again.

    We were so near to losing her, we even had the dreaded early morning call to return to the hospital. She was in a coma for a week, the longest week of our lives. We are so fortunate and so grateful that she survived this.

    Today, she has turned her life around and has a husband and children she adores and is content and happy.

    1. Debbie Jones says:

      Oh Sue, what a dreadful experience for you all, I just can’t imagine how terrifying it was for you to find your daughter in such a terrible situation. Thank goodness you were there and able to save her. It’s wonderful to hear how her life has changed now..it could’ve been so different!
      It’s so very sad to hear about your friend’s son, poor lad, it’s awful that the loss of his job tormented him so badly or was the final straw..we just never know do we, Sue.
      You’re right, most of us can get through or learn to live with incredible sadness or misfortune, and even come through stronger.
      Thank you very much for your kind words & comments, Sue.

  3. Chatter Master says:

    I have never been this helpless Debbie, but I have witnessed it. Thank you for this.

    1. Debbie Jones says:

      Thank you very much, Colleen. I hope you never are..It’s a very sad thing to witness, especially if you want to help but you can’t reach the sufferer. We can only ever do our best & never give up hope.

      1. Chatter Master says:

        And then there are the situations we are not even aware of…. such sorrow.

        1. debbiejonesalwaysamused says:

          Yes, we can never know what others maybe going through, even if they’re smiling on the outside.

  4. Hope says:

    Bravo! ☺

    1. Debbie Jones says:

      Thank you, Hope ☺️

  5. Peter's pondering says:

    A lovely poem Debbie.
    I really believe that we all have depressive times in our lives. Thankfully most of us get through them with the help and support of family and friends. There is far more chance of mental health concerns with the stresses of modern living, exacerbated by social media and peer pressure. It’s a wonder that so many of us get through it.

    Thank you so much for sharing these heartwarming words.

    1. Debbie Jones says:

      Thank you very much indeed for your kind words & comments, Peter.
      You are so right about the stresses of modern living & how people are affected nowadays. The world has changed so much during our lifetime, & expectations on folks are extremely high. It’s no wonder people fall by the wayside. I agree, I doubt there’s anyone who hasn’t gone through some sort of troubled time. I think the level of depression is key, & depends on whether that brick wall is insurmountable or not. We’re the lucky ones, or the ones who are stronger than we think, or maybe have better support or are open to a helping hand when it’s offered. I guess sometimes the door is locked long before anyone realises the key has disappeared, sadly.

  6. Chris Hewitt says:

    Lovely poem Debbie, thanks for choosing to share it and such well considered words on a such an important subject. Thanks.

    1. debbiejonesalwaysamused says:

      Thank you so much, Chris. I really appreciate your kind comment. Awareness is very important, and I think we are getting a bit better at that as a society. Hopefully, it’s in all of us to try to reach out and be “that friend,” if someone needs to talk.

  7. forresting365 says:

    Oh, Debbie. You brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful, sweet gesture. A Love letter to Us All. Thank You so Very Much!!! ?❤️?

    1. debbiejonesalwaysamused says:

      Thank you very much for such kind comments, Katy. You got exactly what I intended..a love letter for all, we owe it to ourselves, once in a while. ☺️ ?

      1. forresting365 says:

        My pleasure! And You’re right….we truly do owe that to ourselves. Sweet!!! ?❤️?

  8. Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. says:

    A beautiful poem Debbie and I can relate, there was a time when it was very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but something always pulled me back and that was hope. As it turned out, life did get better but having someone there to reach out a hand is so important. Especially for young people today whose life online exposes them not to just one bully at a time but hundreds as they gang up together. Sally

    1. debbiejonesalwaysamused says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words, Sally. I’m so glad the hope that things would get better, during those difficult times, managed to get you through. I’ve heard interviews, by folks who were so close to the edge, and hope is the one thing they always seem to mention as being pivotal in giving them the will to go on. A friendly face, the right words, a small deed, can make all the difference when all seems lost.
      You’re so right about bullying, especially on social media. It was always dreadfully unpleasant by people you knew in the school playground/ work etc, but when total strangers jump on the bandwagon too, it can be the final straw, tragically.
      Thank goodness there are also many advantages to life online, especially places/sites that can offer help or be an outlet for the vulnerable, and I hope the good will always outweigh the bad.

      1. Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. says:

        I certainly believe that the majority of people we meet online are genuine and supportive. Rarely in the last ten years have I come across bullying but at least online you can walk away from the words.. block and report them to help prevent doing the same to others. There are many benefits to having access to the world.. as long as you are careful..

        1. Debbie Jones says:

          You are right in every way, Sally! I haven’t been on the receiving end of any bullying online, thankfully, but have seen comments made by keyboard warriors on public pages, usually aimed at people in the media…like you say, their “power” can at least be dealt with easily.

  9. Roberta Eaton says:

    A really lovely poem, Gloria. I am glad I found you over at Smorgasbord blog. I am one of the lucky people who never gets depressed, just a bit irritated and snappy occasionally. I have a sister that suffers from depression. It is very debilitating.

    1. Debbie Jones says:

      Thank you so much, Roberta, I really appreciate your lovely comment. It was very kind of Sally to include my poem & blog on hers.
      I’m sorry to hear that your sister suffers from depression. The possibility of her being affected by the triggers that can set her spiralling downwards must be a big worry for her, & all who love her. I guess we all get irritated sometimes, but then we can enjoy the times we’re not, even more once we get over our annoyances. ?

  10. blindzanygirl says:

    This is absolutely beautiful Debbie. And so true. What a glorious thought

  11. JOY journal says:

    Enjoyed this one again today. Timely thoughts. 🙂

    1. Debbie Jones says:

      Thank you very much, Nora. ?

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